Moms..Why are we hard on ourselves?

[3timesBlessed]

I just thought I'd throw this out there. Why as mothers are we hard on ourselves? Let me explain. It seems to me that we as "mothers" try to act like we have everything under control and the truth is we are all about ready to fall apart a great deal of the time. I'm just saying that it is a very hard job being a mother and balancing everything. I just think we'd all benefit if we'd stop and really be honest with another, share our struggles as mothers, stop comparing what our kids are doing and try to get through motherhood together. I see it all to often where one mom hesitates to share any concern she may have in raising her kid(s) for fear of looking like she is not a good parent. I think some really good friendships are lost when we can't get "real". Some of you are going to read this and agree but not respond but I hope that is not the case. I hope others will agree and be encouraged to really get to know some other mothers you have encounters with. I will admit I have prejudged some people I knew who I thought were a certain personality and I was completely wrong. My conclusion was "Wow she is just another mother like me...with her bad and good days too!" I will be the first on this post to say "Way to go you moms (and dads) for doing the hardest job there is and one I take great PRIDE in!"

[Rhonda Dunaway]

Hi, 3timesBlessed.

Thank you for one of the best posts ever! In fact, if our posting contest were still running, you'd definitely win a prize for this one.

I understand what you're saying. I have frequently assumed (and usually wrongly) that other moms are calm and confident and always feel like they know what they're doing. On the other hand, I often doubt myself and my abilities and worry that I am not a good enough mom to my son. When I've really gotten to know other moms, I've found out that they share my doubts, insecurities, and struggles.

For years, I was under the impression that I was supposed to absolutely love every minute of being a mom. I was afraid to admit to anybody, including myself, that I sometimes found motherhood to be aggravating or just plain tedious. Now, that I'm older and (I hope) wiser, I don't spend quite as much time comparing myself to others or mentally beating myself up for not being all that I think I should be. However, I still fall into that trap more often than I like to admit.

Just the other day, I read an article on women and guilt. The author pointed out that women experience guilt far more than men do for a variety of different reasons, including social and cultural conditioning. It made me think, though, that this is one area where we could really learn from men. In general, they probably don't spend anywhere near the amount of time we do guilt tripping on whether they are good enough parents, spouses, sons, friends, etc., and they are probably better off for it.

Rhonda Dunaway

[karaoke]

These 2 posts have made me feel a lot better, Ihave to say. Thanks to both of you for them.

[3timesBlessed]

I'm glad to hear it helps and thanks for saying so! :)

[mamalou]

You so right about this. Dont think if your perfect your kids will be perfect. No one is. I came from a big family and mama and poppa treat us all the same. Some kids turned out happy, some not so much but for reasons that had nothing to do with how they were raised. Your human, not God.

[drobyn]

You're right. I like to read stories like this one 'cause it reminds me that whatever I do wrong day to day, I'm not a complete idiot like this mom who probably thinks she's cool.

http://www.ketv.com/news/14415585/detail.html